I am donating 100% of proceeds from the sale of each poster.
I am making no money at all.
50% to benefit a Fishtown-area scholarship fund for low income students to help with tuition
50% to benefit Philadelpia Community Bail Fund (I spoke with them Jan 4, 2021 to confirm)
Each print sold nets about $12.50 to each organization
About Saint Laurentius (aka St Lawrence) the person after whom this church is named: In short, he was metal as fuck. He was martyred on a gridiron by the prefect of Rome for distributing alms to the poor. After being burned on the gridiron for a long time, he supposedly said “Let my body be turned; one side is broiled enough”, and became the patron saint of comedians. I *like* this guy.
Short version: this gorgeous church is in danger of demolition because some idiot yokels opposed its adaptive reuse to apartments and fought it in the courts for years. It had been deconsecrated years ago. The spires are literally crumbling.
I used this text not only because I am tr00 kvlt and metal as fuck, but also as a callback to the totally fucked fire-bombing carried out by Philadelphia cops (ACAB) and city government against its own citizens in 1985 (if you don't know, google "MOVE Bombing Philadelphia).
NOT ONLY did they FUCKING BOMB THEIR OWN CITIZENS, but as the conflagration raged, and innocents were burned and asphyxiated to death in their own homes, the police commissioner said "LET THE FIRE BURN". Fuck that guy.
(Fun fact, my great-uncle, Terrance Mulvihill, was one of the pigs that beat the shit out of Delbert Africa. He was charged and acquitted (fuck the "justice" system). I used to go to his house a lot when I was younger for family gatherings. He shot himself in the head when I was a kid. Good riddance, fuck you, 1312. My family doesn't like me to talk about it and they will probably be mad I posted this, but it's important we recognize how fucked the city handled MOVE. Also, watch "Let the Fire Burn". It is an excellent documentary).
THIS IS MY SHAMEFUL FAMILY HISTORY (starts around 1:10:00)
In any case, I am not religious at all and in fact belong to The Satanic Temple (which hilariously, is more Christ-like than any major Christian religion). But this church is a fucking treasure and I want it to stay. [edit: after talks with Fishtown Neighbors Association and other interested parties, church done been sold and any money would go to a developer so no thanks to that. See top of this section for new plan for donations].
And to the Fishbillies that caused this all to happen: fuck you, you don't probably go to church, and even if you do, you are far from Christ.
I hear you calling people "f*ggot" and "n*gger" all the time.
You've called me f*ggot more times than I can count.
Take a long walk off graffiti pier, youse dirtballs. I don't care if you tell everyone I am an asshole and don't hire me as your lawyer—I don't want or need you as a client. Go to some shithead lawyer who just wants your money. Fuck you.
And to the wokey doke yt kids telling me this is "offensive to BIPOC"— I TALKED ABOUT THIS PROJECT EXTENSIVELY WITH POC AS PART OF A CONTINUING DISCUSSION OF MOVE AND RACE. You may be well-meaning but please stop talking for a second LISTEN to BIPOC instead of 1) talking for them or 2) shouting over them to get Woke Points you can brag about to your other yt friends.
Finally, this is TRUE PENNSILVANIAN [sic] BLACK METAL. Black metal was founded by a bunch of bored, spoiled, rich, Norwegian edgelords. That's why they burned churches is a largely atheistic country. The entire genesis of the genre was edgelords one-upping each other until they went full homicide. So, if you want hugs and sunshine, go listen to Lady Gaga (sidebar: I love Lady Gaga).
PISSING OFF YT WOKEY DOKES IST KRIEG!
TL;DR: Buy two. Frame one. Burn the other. Send me a video of it burning. It will be a fun compilation.